Gaining confidence is a force of nature that is already in you. However, it may need to be rebuilt on a different foundation to grow again. As a kid, many of us were spontaneous and knew what we wanted, but once society interjects into your life, you can begin to have self-doubt. If you let what others perceive about your action consume you, you'll never be you, but what someone wanted to make you.
When I was young, I was bullied for my appearance, I did not fit in with many groups, and I was always left with this feeling that I didn't belong here or anywhere. I was not confident, and when I did not gain control, it went into a spiral effect that changed my life forever. This can be good, or you must know how to turn a negative into a positive. Some things you see as a weakness can also be a strength, and your future self is waiting for you to strengthen them a little more. I have learned a lot about confidence throughout my years, and I want to share my top 5 tips on How To Gain Confidence.
1. Affirmations
Speaking into existence about the person you want to become can seem a little crazy at first. It might not feel real only because you're not there yet. First, grab a piece of paper, find around five things you want to be more confident in, and start with "I AM" or "I HAVE." It would be best if you placed this piece of paper somewhere visible, such as taping it to your mirror that you look in every day. You should repeat the words on the paper in your mirror every morning to start your day. Then, you need to keep saying it until it comes true or for however long you need to.
I started my affirmations journey in middle school. A time when I became depressed and
was not confident in my appearance. My counselor and I wrote five things I felt I was lacking, which read the following,
I AM HAPPY
I AM SUCCESSFUL
I AM INDEPENDENT
I AM BEAUTIFUL
I AM INTELLIGENT
Ten years later, I read the paper as a memory. I now am what I wrote years ago.
2. Be Around Confident People
There is something about being around people who know they're "that girl." Not in a cocky way, but the ones who are humble about it and are given respect. Being around people who know their worth will eventually lead you to establish boundaries you need to have in your life.
People who are not confident tend not to speak up for themselves. They let people walk over them, and they can be shy. It will be challenging when you start to hang out with confident people. Some things you let slip and slide right under your feet. Others will check before someone else can say their next sentence. You will be taken aback, but it's all about respect. You will eventually develop a new persona and deep respect for yourself. You probably even think, "dang, I was so weak back then," but it's about your journey.
3. Find Where Your Confidence Comes From
This tip should be number 1. Sit down with yourself and discover where your lack of confidence stems from. Digging deep within yourself can be frightening. There might be buried trauma you don't want to deal with, but until you do, there will be a repeated cycle of hurt.
If you lack confidence in love, is it because you have broken your heart numerous times, ex-lovers have blamed the relationship on you, or you don't like the idea of love in this generation? It's important to note that you can control others, but you can control how you respond to situations. Some people will throw their insecurities onto you; you can let them pile up on you when you are young. In this situation, you should take a break, love yourself first, and become the energy you want to attract.
4. Loving yourself
This tip can be the most rigid because people who are not confident don't love themselves as they should. You might not know how to properly or give love, so it is a new skill.
Learn that you are not perfect - no one is. Understand that becoming a better you will take a lot of patience and kindness to yourself. You should not compare yourself to others. Self-confidence comes from self-love. Find ways that you feel you neglect yourself and turn those harmful routines into positive ones.
5. Keep moving
Building self-confidence comes with a love of patience which equals a lot of time. Developing self-confidence is not something you will wake up with. Every day you have to know that it will keep better. You have to wake up every day and try to love yourself better. Some days you might not feel the confidence, but some days, you will, and you have to love the progress that you have made.
I will never say throughout life, you will never be self-conscious and have doubt. At every stage in life, there are new challenges. Once you defeat the challenges, you biome a warrior. With a warrior's mindset, you can conquer any battle. The ones you lose will be a lesson, so never feel completely lost. You'll be glad you got started and did not quit on yourself.
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